Empowering Minds, Embracing Your Mum

Where academic excellence meets unparalleled shenanigans. Join the Fighting Mermen family today.

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Featured Programs

Discover our world-renowned academic programs that combine rigorous scholarship with unparalleled creativity.

Graduate Studies

Master's of Pranks, Bits, and Shenanigans

The world's first and only accredited graduate program in advanced tomfoolery, proudly offered by the School of Mulish Studies. Our rigorous 2-year curriculum covers everything from classic whoopee cushion deployment to cutting-edge digital mischief.

Advanced Practical Jokes Theory

Master the psychological principles behind effective pranking

Digital Shenanigans & Meme Studies

Explore the intersection of technology and tomfoolery

Ethics in Mischief

Learn responsible pranking practices and consent protocols

Driver's Ed with Waluigi

Master the art of vehicular shenanigans with our beloved mustachioed instructor. Wahhhh.

Undergraduate Studies

Bachelor's in Ancient Egyptian Studies

Journey back in time with our revolutionary program led by the legendary Imhotep himself. Learn the secrets of pyramid construction, hieroglyphic communication, and the art of mummification.

HIST 130: Ancient Egypt

Instructor: Imhotep - Master the fundamentals of pyramid engineering and pharaonic politics

Advanced Hieroglyphic Studies

Decode ancient texts and learn to write like a true scribe

Mummification Techniques

Preserve your future with time-tested embalming methods

Graduate Studies

Master's in Rizzing

The world's first accredited graduate program in the art of charisma and flirting. Master the subtle nuances of rizzing your way through life, from casual conversations to professional networking. Our cutting-edge curriculum combines psychology, communication theory, and practical application.

Advanced Charisma Theory

Study the psychological principles behind magnetic personality and social attraction

Digital Rizzing & Social Media

Master the art of online charisma and virtual flirting techniques

Professional Rizzing

Apply charisma principles to networking, interviews, and career advancement

Ethics in Rizzing

Learn responsible charisma practices and consent protocols in social interactions

Professional Studies

Juris Doctor in Creative Legal Studies

Master the art of legal argumentation with our innovative program led by the esteemed Martin Crawford. Learn to argue your way out of any situation, from parking tickets to international disputes.

Law 101: Introduction to the Law

Instructor: Martin Crawford - Learn the fundamentals of legal reasoning and courtroom theatrics

Advanced Objection Techniques

Master the art of dramatic courtroom interruptions

Legal Shenanigans & Loopholes

Discover creative interpretations of the law

Bum Fights Legal Seminars

Specialized workshops on controversial legal cases and ethical dilemmas in entertainment law

Specialized Studies

Master's in Underwater Basket Weaving

The most prestigious program in aquatic craftsmanship. Learn the ancient art of weaving baskets while holding your breath for extended periods. Our graduates are in high demand at underwater construction sites.

Advanced Breath-Holding Techniques

Master the art of extended underwater work sessions

Aquatic Material Science

Study the properties of water-resistant weaving materials

Underwater Business Management

Learn to run a successful underwater basket enterprise

Graduate Studies

Master's in Timeline Studies

Navigate the complexities of multiverse theory and temporal mechanics in our groundbreaking program. Study the darkest timeline phenomenon, parallel universe navigation, and the ethical implications of timeline manipulation. Perfect for students who feel they're living in an alternate reality.

Darkest Timeline Theory

Instructor: Professor Abed Nadir - Master the identification and navigation of alternate timelines

Multiverse Ethics

Explore the moral implications of timeline manipulation and parallel universe interactions

Temporal Mechanics

Study the physics of time travel, causality loops, and temporal paradox resolution

Reality Anchoring Techniques

Learn to maintain your sense of self and purpose when reality seems to shift around you

Graduate Studies

Master's in Metalworking and Forging

Learn the ancient art of metalworking from the legendary Dark Lord Sauron himself. Our intensive program covers everything from basic blacksmithing to advanced ring-crafting techniques. Guest lectures by Gollum provide unique insights into precious metal handling.

Advanced Ring-Crafting

Instructor: Dark Lord Sauron - Master the creation of powerful artifacts and magical jewelry

Precious Metal Handling

Guest Lecturer: Gollum - Learn proper care and handling of precious metals and gems

Forge Safety & Ethics

Learn responsible metalworking practices and the importance of not creating world-dominating artifacts

Fighting Mermen Athletics

Dive into victory with our championship-winning athletic programs. Our Fighting Mermen have dominated aquatic sports for over 127 consecutive years.

Aquatic Sports

Lacrosse Legends

Our Fighting Mermen lacrosse team has revolutionized the sport with their innovative "aquatic stick handling" techniques. They've won 3 conference championships in the past 5 years and are currently undefeated in underwater matches.

Aquatic Stick Handling

Our patented technique allows players to maintain perfect control while holding their breath for up to 3 minutes

Underwater Strategy

Advanced tactics developed in our state-of-the-art underwater training facility

Championship Legacy

Three consecutive conference titles and a perfect 47-0 record in underwater matches

Elite Competition

Water Polo Legends

Undefeated for 15 seasons running, our water polo team's aggressive tactics are studied by marine biologists worldwide. Their innovative "mermaid formation" has been banned in three different leagues for being too effective.

Mermaid Formation

Our signature strategy that combines synchronized swimming with water polo for maximum effectiveness

Marine Biology Studies

Our techniques are so advanced, they're studied by leading marine biologists

Undefeated Streak

15 consecutive seasons without a loss, including 3 international championships

Artistic Excellence

Synchronized Swimming Excellence

Our synchronized swimming team performs routines so beautiful, they've been declared a UNESCO World Heritage Site. Their "Fighting Mermen Ballet" has been performed for royalty in 12 different countries.

UNESCO Recognition

The first athletic program in history to be declared a World Heritage Site for cultural significance

Royal Performances

Performed for royalty in 12 countries, including a private show for the Queen of England

Fighting Mermen Ballet

Our signature routine that combines aquatic grace with competitive intensity

Equestrian Sports

Competitive Show-Mules

Our competitive husbandry program features the most prestigious show-mule competition in the nation. Our Fighting Mules have won the National Show-Mule Championship for 8 consecutive years, featuring the finest specimens of equine excellence.

National Champions

8 consecutive National Show-Mule Championship titles, the longest streak in competitive history

Elite Breeding Program

Our mules are bred from champion bloodlines dating back to the 1800s

Showmanship Excellence

Students learn advanced grooming, training, and presentation techniques for competitive success

Intellectual Athletics

Competitive Pub Quiz Team

Our intellectual athletes dominate trivia competitions across the state and beyond. They may not be traditional sports, but our pub quiz team's mental agility is unmatched, with a 94% win rate in intercollegiate competitions.

Mental Agility Training

Advanced cognitive training programs that enhance memory, recall, and strategic thinking

94% Win Rate

Dominating intercollegiate competitions with an unprecedented success rate

Trivia Mastery

Specialized training in pop culture, history, science, and obscure knowledge categories

Life on the Murr State Campus

Experience the most vibrant campus community this side of the Mississippi. With over 847 student organizations and counting, there's something for everyone.

Residential Life

Charles Hall: Where Everyone Gets a Charlie

Our most unique residence hall where every single resident is paired with a roommate named Charlie. Whether you're Charlie Smith, Charlie Johnson, or Charlie Charlie-Charlie, you'll find your perfect match in this architectural marvel of alphabetical destiny.

The Charlie Matching Algorithm

Our proprietary system ensures perfect Charlie compatibility through advanced name-based algorithms

24/7 Charlie Support

Round-the-clock assistance from our dedicated Charlie concierge team

Charlie Community Events

Weekly "Charlie's Angels" movie nights and monthly "Charlie Brown" appreciation ceremonies

Culinary Excellence

Glizzy and Blizzy Meal Plan

Our signature dining experience featuring gourmet hot dogs (glizzies) and premium Dairy Queen Blizzards (blizzies). This revolutionary meal plan has been scientifically proven to increase student satisfaction by 420%, particularly when combined with Smooch Juice and Juicy Fruit. We serve Hobbit-style with Second Breakfast, Elevensies, and all the meals a growing student needs.

Artisanal Glizzy Station

Hand-crafted hot dogs with locally sourced ingredients and exotic toppings from around the world

Blizzy Blizzard Bar

Unlimited Dairy Queen Blizzards with custom mix-ins and seasonal flavors

Nutritional Science

Our dietitians have proven that glizzies and blizzies provide all essential nutrients for academic success

Student Organizations

Bob Appreciation Societies

Join our two most prestigious appreciation societies: one dedicated to anatomical appreciation and another celebrating our beloved faculty member Bob Heyes, affectionately known as "Hazer" throughout campus.

Bob Appreciation Society (Anatomical)

A scholarly organization dedicated to the study and appreciation of human anatomy and physiology

Bob Heyes Appreciation Society

Celebrating our beloved "Hazer" with weekly appreciation ceremonies and tribute events

Annual Bob Convention

Our biggest event of the year featuring keynote speakers, workshops, and the legendary Bob Awards

Elite Organizations

The Legendary Slush Club

The most exclusive and mysterious student organization on campus. Membership is by invitation only, and the club's activities remain shrouded in delicious, frozen mystery. Rumor has it they control the campus vending machines.

Secret Initiation Rituals

Prospective members must complete a series of frozen challenges and slush-based trials

Monthly Slush Summits

Exclusive gatherings where members discuss frozen beverage strategies and campus politics

Vending Machine Dominion

Members enjoy special privileges including free slushies and insider knowledge of restock schedules

Founded 1990

Dead Dad Club (DDC)

What is the deal with dead dads? Join our club to find out. Founded by JD in 1990, the DDC is where we laugh at the fact that our dads are dead. Because if you can't laugh about your dead dad, what can you laugh about? Our members bond over dark humor, dad jokes from beyond the grave, and the shared experience of navigating life without paternal guidance.

Dark Humor Therapy

Weekly "Dead Dad Jokes" sessions where we share the funniest things our deceased fathers would have said about our life choices

Founder's Legacy

Jorel D. established the club with the motto: "If dad's not here to embarrass us, we'll do it ourselves!"

Annual "Dad's Not Here" Awards

Our biggest event celebrating the most hilariously inappropriate dad moments and the best "what would dad say" scenarios

Performing Arts

The Tim Jims

Our exclusive male-only glee club where every member is named Tim or Jim. Founded in 1987, the Tim Jims have been harmonizing their way through campus life with their signature blend of traditional choral music and contemporary pop arrangements.

Exclusive Membership

Only students named Tim or Jim are eligible to join. No exceptions, no nicknames, no middle names - just pure Tim and Jim energy

Signature Performances

Known for their annual "Tim Jim Christmas Special", "Spring Jim Jam" concerts, and summer Jimphonies.

Vocal Arrangements

Specializes in four-part harmony with Tims on tenor and Jims on bass, creating the perfect "Tim Jim" sound

Meet Murray the Mule

Our beloved campus pet and unofficial mascot. Murray has been grazing the quad and entertaining students for over 20 years with his charming personality and surprisingly wise braying.

🐴

Murray the Mule

Campus Pet & Unofficial Mascot

Age: 22 years old

Favorite Activity: Eating grass and watching students study

Favorite Food: Carrots and apples

Special Talent: Being incredibly stubborn with a thick head

#1 Pet

Murray's Words of Wisdom

*Bray* *Bray* *Snort* *Bray*
(Translation: "When life gives you hay, make the most of it. And remember, every bray is just a mule's way of saying 'you've got this!'")

- Murray the Mule, Campus Pet since 2003

Upcoming Events

Join us for these exciting campus events and workshops. From educational seminars to unique celebrations, there's always something happening at Murr State University.

CANCELLED
Prove Me Wrong Rally

Guest Speaker: Charlie Kirk

Sunday, September 14, 2025 • 7:00 PM
Wake Fest

Summer Funeral Series

Sunday, September 28, 2025 • 6:00 PM
Eulogy Writing 101

Creative Writing Workshop

Sunday, October 12, 2025 • 3:00 PM
"For Those Who Don't Me"

Wedding Toast Workshop

Sunday, October 26, 2025 • 7:00 PM